Sunday, July 29 x 8:55 PM

excuse me while i dust off the cobwebs.

it's only been half a month, but two weeks should have been enough time for me to move on. did he really mean that much to me? sad, but yes, he did. am i not moving on? i am moving on, but there are still some things that bother me from time to time. like everytime my eyes spy "the sign".

yes, i acknowledge the patheticness of my situation. i acknowledge that i AM pathetic for still feeling unbelievably sad at times. i have my moments. i am weak. he gets to me, and i still wonder why he does what he does. if it means something. because he can be really annoying at times, ignoring me one moment then calling my attention then ignoring me once he catches my attention. but hopefully, things will get better and it won't affect me as much.

so there. i used to think that i needed someone to divert my attention to, but people are never what they seem and i'm not ready to be hurt again.

that said, i watched the simpsons movie last night and i'm saddened that the true essence of the simpsons' humor is often lost. hearing people laughing at the wrong times just destroyed the whole movie for me. that said, i think the movie was great. lots of touching homer-bart moments. hee. and ned flanders' "and i wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair!" crack.. hilarious. :D

watched the la salle-ust and ateneo-feu games live today. i even got to see pei and weshie! i missed the thrill of hearing the beat of the drums and the energy of die-hard la salle and ateneo fans. i missed pei, it's ironic that we've been making plans to meet up but we ended up seeing each other when we least expected it. :)

and so, i end here for now.. nights are the worst, because sometimes i wonder how i could've done things differently. so that we'd end up differently. i know, it's useless and it doesn't help me move on. i know that i'll soon come to the conclusion that no matter how i acted or reacted, things would still have ended up this way.. maybe it would've even been worse.

i know i posted these lyrics something like a year ago, but i'm posting it again now because this time my situation isn't quite so imaginary. haha.


Oo by UpdharmaDown

‘Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
‘Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako'y iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, ‘di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
‘Di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

‘Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako'y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka na lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
‘Di mo lang alam
O, ika'y minamasdan
Sana iyong mamalayang di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan