Monday, July 31 x 11:38 PM

there's this guy i worked with for a special event, and he's just so adorable. he's one of the nicest guys i've ever met, and despite all the stress we put him through he never once frowned or stopped smiling. so to ***, thank you! you're one of the most nicest and sweetest people i've ever met. :)

i'm stuck in a rut! i'm starting to fall into old, bad habits again.

Sunday, July 30 x 11:21 PM

it's sunday night. i should be sleeping, but i missed blogging.

busy, busy week. the event was last thursday to saturday, so i was dead tired last night. was planning on watching mymp in bagaberde (for free! ;p) last night with shane, but i was just too pooped. next time though.

suppliers' night in bagaberde was so bad for me. i got tipsy (i drank 3 kinds of drinks on an empty stomach), and some people were making me kulit (or as ma'am tinette put it, were hitting on me, i really wouldn't know though). the worst part is all this happened WHILE i was working.

ugh.

Monday, July 24 x 9:29 PM

today was such a *bleh* way to start the week. i hope it gets better as the week goes on. i know i whined all throughout this evening, because we wanted to go home. but eeehh.. really.

met up with eddie and kay at starbucks, where we had the weirdest conversations.
eddie kept telling me to go for it. he says that if fear of rejection always keeps me back, then nothing will happen. then kay points out that i might not even want something to happen.

do i?

i guess i never really entertained the idea of wanting it (it being whatever feelings i have) reciprocated. he's just a crush, someone i'd look forward to seeing at the end of a long day. wanting him to like me back just makes things a ton more complicated, y'know? then everything would come into play.

i'd just hate to ask myself, is he the kind of guy i could end up with? what kind of a future would i have with him? i don't want to have to ask these questions. i don't want to get serious. at least not yet. whatever happens will happen. if nothing happens, then at least i didn't expect. if something does happen, well, i'm not thinking that far ahead.

see? i may be obssessed, but it's just me being kilig. i fortunately have got a healthy sense of reality this time around.

i hope.

Sunday, July 23 x 12:24 AM

it's a sad realization that i don't forget. despite his absence from my consciousness this past month, i guess he's still there, somewhere, in my unconscious. or maybe it's because i was in ateneo last night and college memories came flooding back. bleh.

Thursday, July 20 x 12:00 AM

at 12:00 m.n.

i have found a new OOA, hahaha!

just kidding. although he is cute. but he doesn't talk so well. but he's really good at what he does. i saw.

but i don't want any teasing to start at the office, because. because. hehe. a lot of complicated things start that way, yes?

i'm so sabog. i'm just embarrassed he had to see me late at night, when i'm like this. (official business meeting over dinner. if you were thinking something else, shame on you! ;p) our bosses were teasing us on the basis of, what, our age? poor 20-something boys we will be working with.

it's late and i got to sleep. my stalking powers tell me i'm going to be in for a treat tomorrow morning.. ;)

Wednesday, July 19 x 12:21 AM

OT-ed today, although i really didn't expect to. there's tons of work to be done, and tons of pressure, but i just realized that half of it is play to me. it doesn't feel like real work sometimes, which i guess is a good thing too.

ma'am tinette was teasing me this afternoon because i'm beginning to get into the details of my first major project. as i've said before, it's a pretty big event, even by industry standards, so for a newbie like me, it's a little intimidating. but i'm discovering that i love to work and i love a challenge, so maybe handling something as big as the shroud exhibits isn't too bad. :)

Tuesday, July 18 x 12:39 AM

just got off the phone with my bestest bestfriend in the whole wide world. i love you ruthay diannini!

we spent almost 4 hours on the phone tonight. i'm so glad to have her. auww, i'm all smushy.

Sunday, July 16 x 11:51 AM

puke puke puke.

i want to puke for so many reasons.

i hate fake people. don't you? because i do.

in other news, my cousin gave birth today. i am an auntie.

in other other news, there is no news. oh wait, there is, but it's not good and i don't like rehashing the bad stuff. so there.

this post is so sabog.

edit: at 6:45 p.m.

after lunch, we went to visit my cousin and her baby at the hospital. we didn't get to see our niece, and my cousin was so drowsy she could hardly say hi. so after saying our hi's and hello's, kaka, andrew, jodie, marc and i decided to head to starbucks. if i ever have to be hospitalized, please put me in medical city. starbucks at the ground floor?! heaven. although starbucks ain't the same without my favorite baristas. auww. anyway, i digress. it was nice seeing kaka and andrew again. it's the first time kaks and i have seen each other since we both started working. wala lang, random.

we headed home right after to catch the UP-Ateneo game on tv. wow, goooo arneow!!! less excitement this season, sans la salle and all, but it'd still be nice to watch a game live. i have yet to watch an ateneo game as an alumna. pooh. i miss sounding like a man the day after a game. i miss feeling that adrenaline rush everytime i hear the beats of my favorite cheers. I MISS BEING A STUDENT.

now that we've won (yay!), my energy goes to cheering on fernando alonso and renault.

i live a boring life. i'm driven by my tv.

my insecurity and curiousity are at an all-time high right now, and because i know better, i'm fighting it with all my might. i NEED to get out of this funk, because no one will help me but myself. i can't always base my happiness on things outside of me. i'm frustrated with myself because i know it, but i just end up looking like a fool more and more when faced with something that could possibly make me feel better. do i make sense? i hope so.

the gloomy weather from last week seems to have seeped into my bones. and i used to love the rain. :(

Thursday, July 13 x 9:59 PM

i don't know. i guess the initial excitement of being a working girl is over. i crave excitement, and although events is probably one of the most challenging and diverse industries ever, the event i'm really handling is for next year. it's a huge responsibility (which is, btw, really scary) but since everyone else's attention's on the current events, i'm doing much less than they are.

plus i'm having to make really difficult decisions with my life right now. i want to make the right ones, but what exactly are they?

**************

i had lunch out today, in my dad's office. the driver picked me up to bring me there, and daddy introduced me to the president of their company and to his people. it was fun, we had our matching baons and he showed off their office. impressive.

sighness. this is my sickness. i can never be content with what i have.

oh well. i hope payday makes the blues go away. ;p

Wednesday, July 12 x 11:52 PM

it seems that all the baristi have agreed to to be super friendly to me, because this week even baristi i've never talked to before know my name and favorite drink. i was even told i was their "best customer" by the barista who, i just found out, is the assistant store manager. now that's steer. ;p

Friday, July 7 x 11:58 PM

*sigh*

bad week. bad day.

i was supposed to meet up with red carpet today for dinner in paseo. didn't happen, though, because i had to OT. i guess i could've said that i'd leave on time because i had a dinner, but that's just not me. work is work, and if there's something to be done i'm going to stay and do it.

it's just a little frustrating though, because there are all these trials that i'm going through, and i don't know what the right path for me is. there are so many factors to consider, and even if you say it's pretty shallow, it isn't to me.

there are so many pros and cons to be weighed. right now, i think my happiness lies with the little things.

*sigh*

this is one of the few times i wish i had someone to hold me at the end of the day, and make me feel like everything's going to be ok.

oh yeah, UAAP opening tomorrow?! how can i not know that? i am so out of the loop. haven't been watching tv lately, either. i want to watch the ateneo-nu game tomorrow; i hope marc agrees to watch with me!

Thursday, July 6 x 12:04 AM

"you're so whipped!" - eddie

i'm not whipped. just a little crush-obssesive. and no, don't worry, i'm not obssessing over whether it's mutual or not. it's a total one-way street.

i leave you with jennifer paige's breathy song..

"It's just a little crush
Not like I faint everytime we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you"

Monday, July 3 x 8:37 PM

crisgee tagged me to google earth my house, and i did! et, voila!

written at 12:02 a.m.

i just can't explain it. it seems like the world holds so many possibilities. there are so many things to look forward to. but when i think about it, all it boils down to is..