Tuesday, May 22 x 11:28 PM
i realized something last night.i miss the old, carefree me.
and despite everything that's happening, how i choose to deal with it is MY choice. and i choose to, in coldplay's words, "take it back to the start."
everything got so.. complicated. i won't even try to relive it because it's still a little painful.
i decided to let go of all the promises, kilig moments, confessions, things unsaid, pain, confusion, hurt, jealousy.
things will happen in due time. and when it does, it'll feel right. it'll BE right. just the way you want it to be.
to you:
i told you that i'm happy, and that i'm going to forget everything that's happened. you were happy for me; i guess it was hard for you to see me so frustrated. you hugged me and asked me if i "fixed" things with him. i told you i didn't, because to me, none of this mess happened.
you asked if i ended things with him. you sounded awfully interested; i don't know if it's because you saw him as a loose end to be tied up or a wall that needed to be broken down before we figured us out, or if you were just being nosy.
i think what you didn't realize was that when i said i'm forgetting everything that happened, i'm actually forgetting YOU too. i think you thought i was only talking about him.
it'll always be there, i guess. the feelings, the attraction. and we both probably can't completely forget everything, but we can set aside all the baggage we've managed to carry with us these past two months and start over. we'll be friends; you won't say anything prematurely, and we both won't fall too fast.
we won't rush into things. we'll take our time. and when it does happen, it'll feel right. it'll BE right. just the way you want it to be.
the thing is, it may not be with you.
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the things is..
hahaha. inside joke! i didn't know i had a way of saying but..