Monday, March 19 x 1:07 PM

anxiety.

today is the first day i'm unemployed.

i hate it. i hate it very much. i'm bored, i want to go out, i don't want to stagnate here at home and let my mind wander and think things that i shouldn't be thinking.

like how much i'll miss primetrade and working on the shroud.

or all the other problems. all the doubts. worries.

i was supposed to start working today. i'm glad i have the day off especially since i was sick all of last week, and i'm glad i got to go back to the office and hang out with everyone for a while. but i'm also worried about the thing they found in my right apex in my x-ray during my pre-employment check up. i hope it's nothing. i hope the pulmonologist clears me today, so i can start working asap.

working with new officemates terrifies me. being alone and a loner terrifies me. and because of that, i don't want to start at my new job just yet. :(

haha damn insecurities.