Monday, June 5 x 9:49 PM

"Why do we do things we know will just hurt us?"

someone** (not real name, hahaha) asked me this, and i was at a loss for an answer. why do we?

in the past (far, far past..) i gave someone millions of chances. 3 years' worth, to be exact. it was an endless cycle of hoping and dealing with disappointments. sometimes i wonder if i should've given him another chance, but i know that if i did, i'd have my heart broken a million different ways.

i guess i knew when to quit that time around.

there are a lot of times that i'd do things that hurt myself. there was that time in high school (tsk, feeling "troubled" back then). now, i do things that make me feel insecure. why i do it, i don't know. maybe i'm masochistic. i don't know. and just for clarification purposes, this does NOT have anything to do with love or friendship.

in other news, work is great; i've organized my desk, and i'm gaining mastery of the program for the SGV anniversary. i'm actually excited to dress up in a gown, and be in the very same ballroom i had my prom in. the responsibilities are scaring me though, because i know much of my work is what's presented to the clients. scary shit. if anything goes wrong, it's my fault!

i have something in the morning tomorrow. i have no idea how i feel about it, but i think it's a mixture of excitedness and dread. exciting because i missed them, but i'm dreading it because i might have to choose. i hope whatever happens is for the best.

a ginormous *hug* to my bestfriend dianne, rinatots and weshie! smiles all around because of you guys. :)